Big life changes happening

Lots of things have been happening and I need to write it down! For a while now (probably a couple of years) Matt and I have been feeling like it was time for a change, but we were having a hard time figuring out exactly what we wanted to do.  It all kinda started with getting our van and putting a bed in it.  That opened up our minds to all sorts of possibilities.  We knew that we loved traveling and that it brought us and our family closer together.  But there are so many places out there that we want to see that are just a little too far away.  Like when we went to Oregon and it took four days of driving to get there and back.... We just wanted to be closer to these things we want to see. 

So it kinda started with us joking about living in our van.  I told Matt I could live in an RV, but I didn't think I could live in a van with kids.. But that's kind of where all the thoughts started.  But we knew that whatever we did we wanted to have our third baby first.  I wanted to be in Utah with our insurance and doctors for that.  So things kind of got put on hold.  

And then came a really, really hard pregnancy.  We couldn't do anything cause I was so sick the whole time.  It was a super stressful time of life.. Pregnancy, Matt's job, and a house with endless projects to be done were really weighing on us. And all this happened during what I'm sure had to be the longest winter of all time (and we were basically sick the whole winter). We knew that some things needed to change, so we started bouncing around ideas.  We basically never talked about anything else.  

Ultimately we decided that we would sell our home and get a remote job.  That decision is the one thing that hasn't changed.  We have been through lots and lots of versions of "the plan" as we like to call it.  At first the plan was to buy some property somewhere cool as soon as we sold the house and then build a house on it. (not a normal house either, we had some super cool ideas that maybe we will do someday) But as we talked about that I was super pregnant and miserable and I couldn't stand the thought of more work and more headaches and more stress.  I needed a break! So we landed on renting for a while.  We would find month to month apartments in places that we wanted to check out and live all over for a little while just to see where we wanted to end up.  

The plan continues to evolve, but more or less we will have our base camp be the farm and we will travel around and try and find out where we want to end up.  We still want to buy some property somewhere cool, but I don't know how long it will take us to get there.  We still have a lot of work to get to where we can do what we want to do.  Sell our house, get a new job, build our dream van.. ya know, minor details. But we have come a long ways from when this was all just a dream.  

We had our Luci baby which was the first step. The moment we came out of the newborn fog we started to tell people what we wanted to do. Guys. I was SO scared to tell people! I'm not sure why.  I just really hate disappointing people and I was scared that some part of all this would be a disappointment to our family.  I mean selling our house and getting a new job are some big life steps and I didn't know how our family would react.. but guess what? Everyone was SO loving and supportive and just excited for us! It made me realize that you should go for your dreams.  Don't worry about what people think because more likely then not people will just support you! 

So as soon as we told our immediate family we called our realtor (actually we may have called him first haha) We told him we wanted to sell and got our first meeting all set up.  We were serious! and it was crazy for things to finally be put into motion.  Well selling a house (especially one that needs as much work as ours) is quite the process and will probably need a post all of its own.. But we are super excited for things to come and it has been really cool to watch things fall into place! We feel like the Lord has been telling us through things working out that this is what he wants us to be doing.  So there is the first of what I hope will be lots of posts to come.  (I'm terrible at keeping up with a blog, but I really want to remember all this!)

Luci's birth story

Luci is about to turn 4 months old and I just realized I never wrote down a birth story. Compared to the boys her birth was super uneventful so maybe thats why I never thought to write it down.  

So Luci was born Monday April 22nd.  We scheduled it for that day partly because it's the soonest we could, but also because that is Grump's birthday.  The day before they called me and told me to be at the hospital at 7 am and to not eat or drink after midnight.  I was super nervous about the whole not eating or drinking because I had to eat almost every night my whole pregnancy cause of the nausea. But the Lord took care of me and I did really good.  

This is us riding the elevator up to have a baby! It was super surreal.  

As soon as we got there they hooked me up to an IV and started pumping me full of fluid.  I was really worried about being super thirsty, but I wasn't. It took them a couple hours to get us into the operating room cause there was someone else having a c-section.  But the time went by pretty fast and we were having fun just hanging out.  All I could think about was how nice it was to not be in labor!! The other two times I've been in this position I was having crazy hard labor.  Let me tell you getting an IV while also being in labor succkkkssss. 

Once we were ready to go they took just me into the operating room and gave me a spinal block.  I'm not sure why Matt didn't get to come in for the part, but I was kind of glad cause it always makes him super woozy.  

Once they got me on the table and everything I felt like I was going to pass out and then throw up.  But whatever problems I was having I would tell the anesthesiologist and he would adjust something and fix it! He was SO awesome.  

There was an insane amount of pressure when they pulled her out.  I remembered that would happen, but I swear it was more pressure then it was with the boys.  I was groaning and couldn't breath for a bit, but then she was out! She squeaked a little and I immediately started crying.  It's so crazy how much you love your baby even though I couldn't see her, just hearing her cry filled me with so. much. love!

She didn't cry a ton and I kept asking if she was ok.  I'm just so traumatized from Micah that I just need to know over and over that shes ok. 

I was so happy when i got to see her and kiss her and hold her!

It's really hard to hold a newborn when your flat on your back but I did my best.  I held her until my arms were so asleep that I was scared I would drop her. They took her off me and she started screaming! She did not want to leave me which made me feel equally happy cause she loved me and sad cause I couldn't hold her.  

They got her calmed down and then when I was all done they gave her back to me as we wheeled to the recovery room.  While we were there I got to do more skin to skin and breastfeed.  As soon as i put her up to feed she latched on and went to town! I was so surprised! Both the boys took a while to learn how to latch, but she was so good at it!

The boys came to meet her after we once we were all settled in our room.  I don't know what it was but I was struggling and throwing up right before they came and while they were there.  So that wasn't too great, but it was still such a magical moment.  They were soo excited to see her and were just immediately so in love. 

A family of five!!

Tonya came to take pictures for us so all of her family came to see Luci 

She was so chubby right when she was born! She lost it pretty fast which was sad. 

Mom brought the boys to visit us at the hospital a couple times per day which was so great. 

My recovery went really well for the most part.  There was one evening when the pain got out of control and it was really really hard.  I was hurting from the incision, but also from cramps and from being in that terrible bed for too long.  My whole body hurt so bad.  Other then that hour or two our hospital stay was pretty good.  

I was anxious to come home, but there is also something really special about being in the hospital.  It's the only time when theres no work or other kids or anything. We just got to focus on each other and this sweet newborn baby. 

But being home is sooooo much more comfortable. That bed was about to kill me.  I came home and sat in my chair and was soo happy

our first dinner at home

Mason was so excited cause him and the baby both had racacoon jammies 

the day after we brought her home I just laid her on our bed and stared at her and just cried.  It was such a relief to have her here safe.  And having a baby girl is such a dream come true for me! The love I have for her is just so overwhelming in a good way! He first week of life was so amazing.  My mom was still here so I didn't have to worry about anything.  I just sat and nursed and stared at her.  I'm so so happy to have a Luci!!